Can I Get A Little Respect?

Since the beginning of the martial arts, one of the most important lessons has been the teaching of

respect. From master to instructor to student.  It is often overlooked by observers but it’s safe to say that

the martial arts are all about respect. Of course, some may argue that there are different levels of respect.

And when entering the martial arts, one must learn to listen and follow and distinguish between the levels.

The level of respect for an instructor may be different than the level of respect for a fellow practitioner that

you may not like. Respect for strangers, respect for your family may all be different. But the bottom line is

that respect is maintained at all times.

First, when attending a new school for the first time, whether you are a beginner or advanced student, look

around for the rules of the school (dojo).  The rules are usually posted by the entryway. These are not open

for debate. Follow them and you will be enriched. Break them and you will find yourself without a school. 

For example, many schools require you to bow before entering the class. This shows respect for the school

and all its members past and present. Some require you to always answer anyone who is your rank or

higher with a “sir” after you are done talking. This demonstrates appreciation for knowledge and

camaraderie or in other another word, respect. You will quickly learn the rules and by following them, you

will have shown respect to all the generations that made it possible for you to learn the martial arts of

today. And keep in mind that teaching could not be possible if respect was not taught and maintained.

Could you imagine going to a school where all the students wanted to learn something different at the same

time? How about going to a school where everyone is arguing over who gets to do what. And it would seem

the people that have the hardest time following the rules are people with big egos. And to those people

comes this statement – “If you are going to train here, leave your ego at the door.”   

It has been my experience that at least 97% of the people studying the martial arts are very respectful. I

have studied Tae-Kwon-Do, San Soo Kung Fu, Muy Thai Kick Boxing and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and I have

Instructed and learned with hundreds, if not thousands of people.  The three percent you might occasionally

run into are those people that come from other school's who may not have been properly schooled in

respect or people from the streets who believe that martial arts doesn’t work. If they don’t show you respect

at first, then they will after a few classes. If they continue not to, then they are not there to learn. They are

there to challenge you, the authority of the school and basically to create havoc. And the kick is that they

expect you to respect them. Well, being a martial artist, you will respect your school, your fellow students

and all in attendance so you can’t go off on these people. In all honesty, why would you want to waste your

time. But at the same time, don’t let them walk all over you. Simply ask them to step out of the class and

not to continue until they are willing to follow the rules. If there is still a problem, alert the head instructor.

The bottom line is if they are not willing to follow the rules, then they don’t need to be there. These are the

types who will be out on the streets bragging that they know this or that and they’ll kick anyone’s ass. The

sad truth is that for whatever reason, they are not happy with themselves and feel the need to bring

attention to themselves in hopes that people will see them in a different light. A pedestal if you will. It’s a

shame that some people hang on to their egos so tight that they can’t see the greener grass over the

fence. Then again  they’re probably smoking it. There’s an old martial arts saying that has many variations

but the meaning is the same – Those that can, practice. They know when to speak and they know when to

shut up. Those that can’t, are experts on every martial arts movie that was ever made, and are absolutely

convinced that “x” martial art that they claim they study is the most dangerous in the world.

But it doesn’t end there. Martial arts will teach you respect for your mind, body and spirit. Through

exercises, lectures, forms (katas) and techniques, one learns the importance of keeping everything in

balance. That includes everything with eat, learn, and watch and everything in-between.  One cannot build

without a foundation. Respect all aspects of your life because the future will be the present sooner rather

than later.

And last but not least, showing respect for your family. These will probably be the most important people in

your life. Or at the very least, people with whom you will have some communication throughout the course

of your life.  This type of respect is probably the easiest to ignore simply because they are family but as

martial arts will teach you, respect must be maintained at all times. You don’t have to like the situations

you find yourself in with your family, just show respect. That means if you don’t like someone, it’s better to

keep your mouth shut than to gossip. If you don’t like certain situations, then don’t place yourself in them.

And if you have to be in the same place at the same time with someone you don't like, just go to a neutral

corner and avoid each other.  You’ll find that getting along won’t be that difficult if you show a little respect.

In the long run, you will be better served.

In short, learning to respect is hard  - especially if you have a big ego. But that's what martial arts is based

on. That is what you will learn. And it's not difficult if you don't make it difficult. It’s there to make the

teaching of martial arts run smoothly as well as your life. Too many chiefs and not enough Indians will

always lead to chaos and in most instances, failure. Always remember - Respect others like you would like

to be respected.

Al

(4/15/03)